「問世間情為何物,直教人生死相許。」時移世易,至死不渝的「生死戀」不復多見。「情為何物」卻仍是一個不易解答的問題,依然令眾生神傷,不知所措。「情」和「愛」共通之處是兩者均不可以用理性去解釋,不可以用尺量度,沒有對、錯、勝、負、得、失,也沒有誰欠了誰,亦無公式去推算,憑直覺去感受。越真的情,「回報率」往往越低。
所謂「感情」,必先有「感覺」才可生「情愫」。日久未必可以生「情」,但時間卻肯定是培養感情的一個不可或缺的基本元素。這正好解釋了一見鍾情式的初戀往往無疾而終。若要情根深種,令情花萌芽、生長、開花、結果,除了「天時」、「地利」外,還得付出心機、時間、愛心和一點運氣。這些就是「人和」。
「情」是一種修為,不可心存歪念。要修心、要成正果,要懂得收、放。它來無踪,去無影,有如風飛亂絮,飄忽不定,變幻無常。甚麼時候收、甚麼時候放,只可以單憑感覺。
「用情」也是一門子學問:深了,或會傷害對方;淺了,達不到目的;錯了,累及無辜;亂了,禍及元氣;濫了,浪費青春。有人窮一生光陰只為找一個用情對手。亦有人使出無盡的精力天天在情場上打滾。兩者皆執著,切忌。
激情捉得太緊可能會灰飛煙滅。身邊人激情下起誓說「一生不變」,請暫別信以為真。「淡如水」的情可能是天長地久的最佳保證。若不把握卻只會從手中輕輕溜走。以前聽過「學如行舟,不進則退」,我說感情也是一樣。若您忽略了替大家的感情每天「澆水施肥」,怎樣濃的情終有一天也會轉淡,然後隨風而逝。 (sigh...)
您可以為一段逝去的感情而難過,但請別為它神傷、落寞、氣餒。孤身走在感情大道上的又豈止您一個人?樂觀的走,視野廣闊點,路也感覺康莊一點。
下回談「婚」。
My friend has a perfect wife and he loves her a lot. But then he started to lose his love when he had a year's email contact with a successful business woman. He told this woman more than he could tell his wife! The "email" contact kept for a year and then this woman suddenly dissappeared. He thought he was not loyal to his wife, what did you think? Is he looking for extra spice?
ReplyDeleteI couldn't understand why he said he loves his wife and at the same time, he has such a relationship with that woman!
This year I met this friend. He said he loves me as much as his wife. I knew what he meant, but it is not supposed to be. Why is such a silly man wants to love someone else than his perfect wife?
學如行舟,不進則退,我說感情也是一樣。若您忽略了替大家的感情每天「澆水施肥」,怎樣濃的情終有一天也會轉淡.
ReplyDeleteWhen was the last time he and she do the watering together??
Without knowing much about "her", I cannot coment how perfect she is. But keep in mind, spouse is suppose to be a "matching half". whether she is really "perfect" for him, only he will know. appearantly, that business woman poccesses some "elements" that his wife doesn't.
On and on this is what I suggest to married couples:
contineously improveing yourself and try to play different roles in front of your spouse:
As a quarterback for his/her career; as a travel partner when vacation; as a lover when in bed;
as a housekeeper when home; as a "date" when partying and as a soulmate when the 2nd half is down. If you miss any at any time. Anticipate he or she will look for a replacement for that "role" to fill the gap.
It is demanding, but remember: to "love" is to "give"...agree?