在人生旅途上,大家不住的往前低頭疾走,向着自己的人生目標進發。每天營營役役無事忙,有沒有想過為何?有幾許會提醒自己慢下步伐,關心一下跟自己萍水相逢,或在旁邊擦身而過,或於人生交滙點有緣碰上的您?

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

談「情」

「問世間情為何物,直教人生死相許。」時移世易,至死不渝的「生死戀」不復多見。「情為何物」卻仍是一個不易解答的問題,依然令眾生神傷,不知所措。「情」和「愛」共通之處是兩者均不可以用理性去解釋,不可以用尺量度,沒有對、錯、勝、負、得、失,也沒有誰欠了誰,亦無公式去推算,憑直覺去感受。越真的情,「回報率」往往越低。

所謂「感情」,必先有「感覺」才可生「情愫」。日久未必可以生「情」,但時間卻肯定是培養感情的一個不可或缺的基本元素。這正好解釋了一見鍾情式的初戀往往無疾而終。若要情根深種,令情花萌芽、生長、開花、結果,除了「天時」、「地利」外,還得付出心機、時間、愛心和一點運氣。這些就是「人和」。

「情」是一種修為,不可心存歪念。要修心、要成正果,要懂得收、放。它來無踪,去無影,有如風飛亂絮,飄忽不定,變幻無常。甚麼時候收、甚麼時候放,只可以單憑感覺。

「用情」也是一門子學問:深了,或會傷害對方;淺了,達不到目的;錯了,累及無辜;亂了,禍及元氣;濫了,浪費青春。有人窮一生光陰只為找一個用情對手。亦有人使出無盡的精力天天在情場上打滾。兩者皆執著,切忌。

激情捉得太緊可能會灰飛煙滅。身邊人激情下起誓說「一生不變」,請暫別信以為真。「淡如水」的情可能是天長地久的最佳保證。若不把握卻只會從手中輕輕溜走。以前聽過「學如行舟,不進則退」,我說感情也是一樣。若您忽略了替大家的感情每天「澆水施肥」,怎樣濃的情終有一天也會轉淡,然後隨風而逝。 (sigh...)

您可以為一段逝去的感情而難過,但請別為它神傷、落寞、氣餒。孤身走在感情大道上的又豈止您一個人?樂觀的走,視野廣闊點,路也感覺康莊一點。

下回談「婚」。

2 comments:

Sally said...

My friend has a perfect wife and he loves her a lot. But then he started to lose his love when he had a year's email contact with a successful business woman. He told this woman more than he could tell his wife! The "email" contact kept for a year and then this woman suddenly dissappeared. He thought he was not loyal to his wife, what did you think? Is he looking for extra spice?


I couldn't understand why he said he loves his wife and at the same time, he has such a relationship with that woman!


This year I met this friend. He said he loves me as much as his wife. I knew what he meant, but it is not supposed to be. Why is such a silly man wants to love someone else than his perfect wife?

程霜 said...

學如行舟,不進則退,我說感情也是一樣。若您忽略了替大家的感情每天「澆水施肥」,怎樣濃的情終有一天也會轉淡.

When was the last time he and she do the watering together??

Without knowing much about "her", I cannot coment how perfect she is. But keep in mind, spouse is suppose to be a "matching half". whether she is really "perfect" for him, only he will know. appearantly, that business woman poccesses some "elements" that his wife doesn't.

On and on this is what I suggest to married couples:
contineously improveing yourself and try to play different roles in front of your spouse:

As a quarterback for his/her career; as a travel partner when vacation; as a lover when in bed;
as a housekeeper when home; as a "date" when partying and as a soulmate when the 2nd half is down. If you miss any at any time. Anticipate he or she will look for a replacement for that "role" to fill the gap.

It is demanding, but remember: to "love" is to "give"...agree?