在人生旅途上,大家不住的往前低頭疾走,向着自己的人生目標進發。每天營營役役無事忙,有沒有想過為何?有幾許會提醒自己慢下步伐,關心一下跟自己萍水相逢,或在旁邊擦身而過,或於人生交滙點有緣碰上的您?

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

放 假

能 醫 不 自 醫 -- 失 敗....

心 緒 不 寧 ; 心 亂 如 麻 ,
決 定 掛 筆 兩 三 星 期 …..
我 要 放 假 ............

孤 心 上 路, 去 Napa… Wine Hunting!

Monday, July 18, 2005

論「嫁」

「女大」真的「當嫁」?

以今天社會的角度來看,年過三十仍然靜待閨房的大不乏人。改革開放令到男女比例失衡可能是原因之一,亦可能是社會正孕育著一群具獨立能力的女性。他們眼中的幸福和快樂,未必能夠從典型的婚姻中獲得。

其實,立心經營一個幸福家庭並非易事。男女雙方要付出的確實許多。以前提到「男主外、女主內」的舊觀念已不太合時。具成就的傑出女性何其多,他們大多不甘心被傳統的婚姻框架所限制。女性通當會選擇一個較自己優越的男性作為婚姻的對象。試想,要找一個比上進女人更上進的男人已經不易,而上進的男人亦未必能夠包容一個和他一樣優秀的女人。相反,不上進的男人,就算他具有再大的包容,您又願意跟他共渡餘生嗎?

家庭環境漸趨完美,亦會令到女生們不願出嫁。父母成功子女身驕肉貴外,女生往往視成功父親為他日對象的一個模範。要得到他的芳心,必得勝過未來岳丈大人,眼前「皇帝女」式的生活,確實令現今女生甘願走向單身貴族之路。

跟女性友人閒談,發現他們並非立志孤獨終老,只不過在擇偶條件上,除了滿足物質需要外,更著重精神滿足。綜合各人心目中的理想對象,得出下列「十大要求」以供參考-

1. 您愛他跟他愛您的程度相等,不多也不少;
2. 要愛屋及烏,愛您,亦愛您的親人;
3. 常識豐富;
4. 懂得在工作、家庭和生活質素中取得平衡;
5. 懂得生命和和活的意義;
6. 懂得在能力範圍之內享受生活;
7. 認同對方的朋友;
8. 懂得浪漫之餘,亦知道何謂實際;
9. 懂得談吐,有說不完的話題;
10. 能夠替對方著想而又不失公平的原則。

女生們若有幸能遇上有上進心、又懂得包容、能夠給您幸福的男生,恭喜您!沒有的話,擁有一位疼愛自己,永遠不會逼您結婚的爸爸,總比胡亂嫁一個不尊重女性的丈夫來得幸福。

男生們,以上十大要求,有否參考價值?十項之中,您具備了多少?趁年輕,好好裝備自己,亦未為不可。

Friday, July 08, 2005

Footprints (from Margaret Fishback Powers)

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from the life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.

He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that this happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him, and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why, when I needed You most, You left me.” The Lord replied, “My son, My precious child, I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

Thursday, July 07, 2005

WHAT WILL MATTER

Learn this from a seminar, would like to share it with you all.

WHAT WILL MATTER (By Michael Josephson)
Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgiven, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It won’t matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.
So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?
What will matter is not what you bought but what you built, not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence but you character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.
What will matter is not your memories but the memories of those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.
It’s not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose to live a life that matters.

Monday, July 04, 2005

談「婚」

上一代常把「男大當婚」掛在口邊,將男人長大後成家立室視為理所當然。還把適婚年齡定下一條死線:未長大,不可以結婚;長大後若然不結婚,卻反問您為何還未結婚。這算是上一代普遍的想法。

在父系社會,男女結合的其中一個原動力是為求「開枝散葉」。結婚成了繁衍家族的一項使命。當人口開始澎漲後,「開枝散葉」(多產)已不合時宜,變成傳宗接代(生男);其後男女漸趨平等,「生兒育女」亦可接受。時至今日,結婚跟生子已再沒有任何因果關係。沒有了這個使命,生育的人少,結婚的人亦少。遲婚已非常普遍,不打算結婚的男女為數亦不少。這是時下普遍的想法。

人在不同的年紀,對婚姻的期望亦有不同。廿來歲的小伙子總會想找一個如花美眷携手步入教堂;三十多歲的會以經濟基礎為擇偶大前提;人到四十卻要找個心靈伴侶;再過十載,可能只要求找個生活的伴侶互相照顧起居罷了。畢竟,亞洲人當中對婚姻抱著「年晚煎堆」心態的,依舊大有人在。

有一個現像,知識水平愈高的一群,對婚姻對象的要求愈嚴謹,可能是知識愈廣博,見多識廣,對自己的下半生要求愈高,所以亦愈執著。當男女平等已到了男生的廚藝比女生還要好的地步,而女生的收入、職位亦跟男生不惶多讓時,男和女互相依靠的這個元素已漸漸淡化,婚姻制度所面臨的衝擊與日俱增,亦不容忽視。

能夠找到一個志同道合,趣味相投,瞭解兼且愛護自己的人長相廝守當然是最好不過。兩個人共同生活,要做到開不開心都十指緊扣,辛不辛苦都接受,談何容易?

年紀漸長,還未找到人生旅途上的另一半,請不要介懷。快樂人生若要活得精彩,活得幸福,始終要靠自己。朋友,若你自命思想成熟、經濟基礎穩固,又懂得包容兼愛,恭喜你:「男大當婚」這句話可供參考。否則,每天清早請看看鏡中的自己,自問:「我今天有沒有本錢去結婚?」有的話,你已比千百萬人幸福,請好好把握。

下回論「嫁」。

Friday, July 01, 2005

評《人生如戲》

A friend of mine voice out his opinion after reading my blog. Would like to share his thoughts with you all:-


程霜君上周五借欄刊文,大談人生處世哲理,讀罷有未盡苟問之處,遂書本文望與程君暢論一番。短文一則旨在抒汝胸懷,未帶半點不敬之心;若行文有所閃失得罪程君,李某先在此行大禮陪不是。

程君文中借演戲比喻人生,形容做人就如演員踏上台板,沒有特技、動畫、鏡頭運用、先進道具,純靠個人實力而登上男、女主角的位置,演自己心儀的腳色。他說若果要演分配得來的腳色,也得來個自我催眠,為演出而演出,使出當「演員」應有的「演員道德」。程君認為趁年輕應該多演不同的腳色,不要為自己定下選角的規範,就當是演技的操練,等捱到一個出頭天時自編、導、演一齣好戲,演活自我。這是程君對「人生如戲」的看法。

我信「人生如戲」。我信人生就如一齣影畫,當中我們曾經擁有的事、物、人,都會有過去的一天。既然所有事物人都有過眼雲煙的一刻,我們更當珍惜眼前的時空,並在心裡準備迎接失去的一天。這是我對「人生如戲」的理解。我想,程君所說的不是「人生如戲」,而是「渡人生如演戲」。這一套論調,恕我未可同意。

我信我們一生下來,便有各自的腳色等待我們去演出。我信我們要演的不是別人為我編寫好的腳色、要唸的不是別人為我編寫好的對白、要走的不是別人編好的台位;我要演的就是「我」,讓「我」得到盡情發揮;要唸的是屬於「我」的台辭,是打從心底發出的由衷對白;要走的是「我」的道路,走應該走的路徑。人生有一些東西是要堅持,正如我們要堅持演好我屬於「我」的腳色一樣,但我不相信可以因待人接物有所不如意,而放低應有的堅持,去演「我」以外的任何腳色。這樣做只會是在渡「面譜人生」,這樣做只是要再一次把「我」綁架軟禁。

要演活自我,活出精彩人生,不是靠因時、地、人的不同,多演幾個腳色,討好「導演」、「觀眾」。要的是認清、接受並誠心誠意的演出「我」。「我」是誰打緊,沒有認清「我」是誰,也不可能知道「我」應該是誰。